Lagom Lady, 7 aspects of balanced life I learned from Swedish women, Uyên Tifi, 2023.
Making writing a book a reality became my top priority alongside my full-time job and responsibilities as a wife and mother. Each day, my schedule stretched from 7 AM to 3 PM (involving writing, marketing, and selling for my own company) and ended at midnight (after 8 hours of serving at a hotel-restaurant). All works seemed to drain my energy. However, the book changed me; I woke up every morning with enthusiasm and eagerness.
So, how did I apply the concept of Lagom to turn my dream of being a book author into reality?
What is Lagom?
Lagom is a term representing the cultural essence of Sweden for decades. It serves as a foundation for the Swedish way of life, but without a rigid standard. Lagom conveys the idea of "just enough" or "moderation." It plays a significant role in shaping the nation's norms and social values. This concept stems from the ideals of fairness and balance. Lagom is deeply ingrained in the native lifestyle, reflecting a moderate approach to racial discrimination, authoritarianism, the environment, and gender equality. Practicing the Lagom lifestyle involves seeking a middle ground and avoiding extreme behaviors in all aspects of life, be it in economics, production, consumption, or personal emotions.
In terms of economics and production, Lagom allows the nation to strike a balance between capitalism and socialism, progress and humanity, as well as GDP and happiness indexes. In production, Lagom helps eliminate extravagant designs to opt for optimal solutions for efficiency.
Regarding social behavior, Lagom values humility and respect for others. Each individual is a complete and independent entity yet part of society. Swedish society prioritizes appropriateness over excellence, aiming to bridge the gap between wealth and poverty. This is reflected in the attitude of the Swedish people, who are considered polite and reserved. They respect personal space, individual perspectives, and privacy. This concept applies to all individuals, regardless of gender, religion, skin color, or ethnicity, making Swedish society harmonious and inclusive.
For instance, interrupting someone while speaking or invading their personal space without permission is considered impolite. Swedes value and view all jobs as equal, including manual labor and janitorial work. Sweden was the first country to recognize same-sex marriage and celebrates Pride Day, flying the rainbow flag across the country.
Concerning personal consumption, Lagom encourages people to use what they need and limit resource wastage. Being mindful of consumption and avoiding resource wastage is a fundamental aspect of Swedish culture, reflected in the nation's consumer and recycling policies. Therefore, Sweden is known as one of the world's most frugal and environmentally-friendly nations.
How did I apply Lagom to turn my dream of being a book author into reality?
If you have read the articles about "You are what you dream" and "Why I Wrote This Book," then you understand my desire to write and share my story. However, turning a dream into reality requires sacrifice, perseverance, and the readiness to embrace unforeseen challenges.
I won a few writing contests to become a co-author and ghostwriter, only to have them canceled.
I doubted myself and also my dream of becoming a book author.
I read over 10 books and dozens of articles about Lagom, in English, Vietnamese, and Swedish.
I had to rent a separate house for 3 months to focus on completing the manuscript.
I faced rejection 5 times when seeking reviews for this book.
But luckily, I didn't give up. Today, nearly a year after conceiving the first idea for the book, I am now an author. I am happy about that.
So, I want to share this to inspire and motivate you, so that one day, you will write to me, saying, "I've fulfilled my dream, without compromising anything."
# 1 - Embrace Your Passion
Passion is the driving force behind every great writer. Embrace your love for storytelling and writing, as it will be the foundation of your journey. Whether you're drawn to fiction, non-fiction, poetry, or any other genre, allow your passion to ignite your creativity.
# 2 - Set Clear Goals
Define your objectives as a budding author. Establish specific and achievable goals, such as completing a certain word count each day, finishing a chapter by a set date, or even setting a deadline for completing your first manuscript. Having clear goals will provide direction and a sense of accomplishment as you progress.
For example, I set a goal to write 5000 words each day on various topics for several months before starting the manuscript of the book. I also proposed a deadline of 3 months for completing the draft to the publisher. I bet on my own credibility and responsibility to accomplish the work.
# 3 - Develop a Writing Routine
Consistency is key in any creative endeavors. Establish a writing routine that suits your lifestyle, dedicating time each day or week to work on your book. Find a quiet, comfortable space where you can immerse yourself in your writing.
For me, the ideal creative time is 2 to 3 hours early in the morning. During the day-time, my sambo is at work, my child is at school, and I put my phone on silent mode to avoid distractions. As I mentioned before, time is not important; the power of time is what matters. That's focus!
# 4 - Read Widely and Read A Lot
Reading is an essential part of a writer's growth. Read widely across genres and styles. By doing so, you'll gain insight into different writing techniques, narrative structures, and storytelling approaches that can inspire and inform your own work.
# 5 - Join Writing Communities
Connect with fellow writers and aspiring authors by joining writing communities, either online or in person. Participate in workshops, critique groups, or writing circles to receive feedback, exchange ideas, and stay motivated.
For instance, I joined the community "On Writing Daily - Viết đi đừng sợ" (Write Fearlessly). The community helped me cultivate the habit of writing and connect with like-minded individuals.
# 6 - Learn from Rejections
Rejections are a natural part of the publishing process. Don't be disheartened by them; instead, view them as opportunities to improve your writing. Use constructive feedback to refine your work and strengthen your skills.
Surely, you know J.K. Rowling, the author of Harry Potter, was rejected 12 times before meeting editor Barry Cunningham on the 13th attempt. For me, my sambo and many Swedes, the number 13 is considered lucky.
# 7 - Believe in Yourself
Everyone has a story to tell. Believe that you have a unique voice and perspective worth sharing with the world. Cultivate self-confidence and remember that every successful author faced challenges and self-doubt on their journey. Trust in your abilities and don't be afraid to take risks.
When I reached the final chapter of the book "Lagom Lady'', despite knowing that the first book would have many flaws and was over a month behind schedule, I was still satisfied with the achieved result. The stories, shares, practical experiences, and guidance took more time than I anticipated to explore, interview, research, and contemplate. I learned and applied the concept of "just enough" from the philosophy of Lagom, avoiding pushing myself into a state of tension to achieve perfection, as I balanced work, writing, and family care.
Every day, when I finish a writing page, I remind myself, "Today, this is enough," to allocate time for other tasks, spend time with my child, cook with my sambo, and have time for myself. The important thing is that I formed the habit of writing and maintained the mental strength not to give up on my goal, even when unexpected obstacles arose in life.
# 8 - Embrace Your Authenticity
Embrace your background, experiences, and cultural heritage, as they make your voice distinct and relatable. Authenticity in writing adds depth and richness to your work, connecting with readers on a deeper level.
For example, I discovered that as a Vietnamese woman, I possess prominent qualities of Asian women, an open and diverse perspective, and a modern approach to Nordic culture. This difference helped shape the book "Lagom Lady, 7 aspects of balanced life I learned from Swedish women," the first book about Lagom lifestyle for women, written by an Asian woman.
# 9 - Seek Professional Editing
Once you've completed your manuscript, consider seeking professional editing services. A fresh set of eyes can provide valuable insights and help polish your work to a publishable standard.
# 10 - Submit Your Work
Be brave and submit your manuscript to literary agents or publishers. alternatively, consider self-publishing, which has become a viable and empowering option for many authors today.
Becoming an author is a journey filled with discovery, growth, and perseverance. Embrace your passion, set clear goals, and develop a routine to nurture your writing. Surround yourself with a supportive community, learn from rejections, and, most importantly, believe in yourself and your dreams. Remember, the path to becoming an author may have its challenges, but with determination and dedication, your dream of sharing your stories with the world can indeed become a reality. So, pick up your pen or keyboard, and let your imagination flow as you embark on this thrilling adventure of becoming an author.
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